My Crush with Someone

I'M NOT TALKIN ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL ZACHARY DAVID ALEXANDER EFRON :D

I LOVE HIM!!!HE'S SO PERFECT,HONESTLY THE PERFECT MAN FOR ME<3but this is not about him

Back Again with my crush, k so...I know "this guy"since a very long time ago. I didn't like him when we first met, he was just like: "whatever" to me, I honestly felt NOTHING until... 

-.- some stupid girls invented a rumor...

The rumor was simply... ridiculous and it pissed me off. 

So this guy who wasn't a friend or anything else of me but still kept talking to me pretty nicely and a regular person would, stopped doing it after that rumor came out. 

I didn't know about that rumor then, I just kept with my life as always.

So I didnt EVEN noticed the weird behaviour until a friend told me about the rumor, then everything fell into place.

He used to get awkarde around me sometimes, but I thought it was just me and that it wasnt big deal 

When I realized the situation, I didn't care much about it, I just noticed how fixed the behavior of him , and of everybody else, but as i told you I DIDN'T CARE until... the same stupid girls that made up all of this, started pissin me of!...Hoes... -.-

And they did it in a VERY "sutil" way.

The point is that i started liking this guy, becuz of theme of this pshyco girls, but i NEVER, admited in public or to anyone. sooo since that fake rumor started, i started liking the guy!! that i didnt like!

It was like a fucking INCEPTION theory movie shit xD

And has been 4 years now, and I really been tryin to find reassons why I SHOULDNT like him and i found  uffff millionssss but then, i dont know i see him, or he talk to me and im like...crushed again, it sucks cuz, we actually arent any good friends or anythin is just someone I know for very long time but we arent that close

We've joked, laughed , but nothin serious just randomly comments and stuff like that, but every time I see him again at any event in common, I fall again, and it sucks!!! cuz i dont want to!!!, the worst is that hes not even my type!! for me is kind of ugly, we arent compatible but God something in his eyes kills me! and :(

I just wanna cry when i think about it, is not fair, I LIKE ZAC EFRON WAAAY MUCH , but in a different way, what i feel and i mean it, since im not a corny person or anythin, but what I feel when I look at his eyes is like heaven my heart starts racing and i get some nervous...

He has some ego I hate, I really hate guys with big egos ,cocky but again those eyes, that look!! kills me. He is a gentleman most of the time but he have changed some, he's more.. first: hot now, and 2 (proportionally to that) cocky.

So I dont know why I even like him!!!! we are so different !! I just dont get it I like him I know, but Im super sure that he doesn't like me, he's not even a bitt attracted to me I'M SURE, im not super ugly or anythin but im just not gorgeous you know well not for his eyes. and if I were, we are sooo different, apart but the atracttion I feel for him is NOT NORMAL what can I do??? My lord help me cuz' I cant keep like this...